


A Sticky Situation Turned Sweet

by Politzania



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (except Sam is still Captain America), Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bakery AU, Explicit Language, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Slash, Racism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24489655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Politzania/pseuds/Politzania
Summary: All Sam Wilson wanted was a damn lemon bar.  Instead, he ends up helping out a couple of dudes working at a bakery who are being harassed by an EB ... and one of them is just Sam's type.   Maybe being Captain America has a couple of perks, after all.Banned Together Bingo:  Vulgar, Vulgar, Vulgar  & Bucky Barnes Bingo:  Bakery AU
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Comments: 21
Kudos: 70
Collections: Banned Together Bingo 2020, Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020





	A Sticky Situation Turned Sweet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [feyrelay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/feyrelay/gifts).



> I blame FeyRelay for this - they posted a hilariously raunchy anecdote over on the TSB Discord and I couldn't help but run with it once Gavilan and TehRoseRose egged me on - see bottom (heh) notes for the original story. 
> 
> Title: A Sticky Situation Turned Sweet  
> Collaborator(s): PoliZ/Politzania  
> Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24489655  
> BBB Square Filled: U3 - AU: Bakery  
> BTB Square Filled: B3 - Vulgar, Vulgar, Vulgar  
> Ship/Main Pairing: Sam Wilson/Steve Rogers (meet cute/pre-slash)  
> Rating: Explicit (based on language, not actions)  
> Major Tags/Triggers/Warnings: Explicit sexual language, prejudice, cap!Sam  
> Summary: All Sam Wilson wanted was a damn lemon bar. Instead, he ends up helping out a couple of dudes working at a bakery who are being harassed by an EB ... and one of them is just Sam's type. Maybe being Captain America has a couple of perks, after all.  
> Word Count: 986

Honest to god, all Sam wanted was something to satisfy his sweet tooth. He deserved a treat after having to deal with another damn press conference. He’d known full well that some folks were gonna get riled up by the idea of a black Captain America, but this just made him tired. If he’d realized taking on the mantle of Captain America was going to be such a PR nightmare, he would have turned the honor down. 

Thankfully, there was a little coffee shop and bakery just around the corner from the hotel and the sign outside advertised lemon bars as their daily special. It was just about closing time, but maybe they’d still have one or two left. 

Sam stepped inside to see a forty-ish white woman pitching a fit. Her voice had gone shrill as she demanded (of course) to talk to a manager. “I can’t believe he would permit such nasty, vulgar language from his employees!” 

“I just do the artwork for the menu board, ma’am.” Sam hadn’t expected such a deep voice to come from the short, skinny blond guy standing up by the counter. He had a striking profile and his twink-i-ness was right up Sam’s alley. “And if you hadn’t been hanging right over my shoulder, you wouldn’t have heard a damn thing.” 

“I was simply waiting my turn while you and your perverted boyfriend,” her voice dripping with disgust, “made such a vile comment about that drawing that it positively turned my stomach.”  
She gestured towards the menu board that was leaning against the counter — it featured a fantastic sketch of a chocolate cake donut with white frosting and red and blue sprinkles. Sam was at a loss to figure out what they could have said that she was so offended by. 

“Once I tell your manager what awful things you were saying,” she continued, “I’m quite sure he’ll fire you both right here and now! As for you, young man,” she pointed a be-ringed hand right in the blond’s face, “you should be arrested for spewing that kind of filth in public.”

Sam rolled his eyes even as his temper started to rise; she looked like just the type to twist the story into something that might actually get them in trouble. 

“First off,” the guy behind the counter said, “my manager’s name is Maria, and she would fall down laughing at the nickname Stevie came up with for tomorrow’s special. And he’s not my boyfriend; as I am, as he puts it, ‘tragically straight’. That said, you’re making me reconsider my orientation.”

Stifling a chuckle, Sam leaned back against the door, waiting to see if the situation was going to escalate further. The motion caught the attention of the barista, whose eyes went wide as he recognized him. Sam put a finger to his lips as the blond (who apparently was named Steve) spoke up.

“Second of all,” he said hotly, “regardless of what your homophobic pea-brain thinks, I am perfectly in my rights to mention in a private conversation about how I’d like to place my tongue in close proximity to another man’s rectum for purposes of sexual gratification. Hopefully his and most definitely mine.” 

Sam nearly swallowed his own tongue at Steve’s clinically raunchy remark. The guy was clearly doubling down on the entitled bitch and Sam had to admire that. 

“Thirdly,” the barista added, staring straight at Sam with a mischievous smirk, “I bet you’re also pissed off that Captain America is black now.” 

She snorted. “They were simply catering to minorities when they chose him. I blame Hollywood and their forced diversity agenda.That man couldn’t hold a candle to the original Captain, God rest his soul. ” 

“Funny you should say that,” the barista commented dryly. “Welcome to Blackberry Hill Bakery, Captain Wilson.” 

The woman whirled around, her fake-tanned face suddenly pale even as Steve turned a flaming red clear down past his collar; Sam fought back a sudden urge to see just how far south that blush went. 

“Thanks,” he said with a grin, sauntering up to the counter in order to catch the barista’s name. “Is there a problem here?” 

“I don’t believe so,” Bucky answered, cool as a cucumber. “Ma’am,” he called out to the woman who had backed away from the counter, “did you want to place an order?” 

“N-n-no, thank you,” the woman stammered, her hand half-hiding her face. “Maybe some other time.” She scurried out the door like her ass was on fire. 

“Um, how much of that did you hear?” Steve asked, his cheeks still delightfully pink. 

“More or less enough,” Sam replied as he checked him out; the guy was just as cute close up as he was from across the room. “So, I gotta ask, what exactly gave Karen there the vapors?” 

“We were joking that we should call that donut "Cap's Asshole,” Bucky grinned, clearly enjoying his friend’s embarrassment. “Y'know, because of the shape, and the frosting and the sprinkles and such. Well, she about lost her shit when Steve said he bets it’s the next best thing to rimming you to kingdom come and back.” 

“Oh my god, Buck!” Steve squawked, covering his face. “I am so sorry, Sir,” he mumbled from behind his hands. “I meant no disrespect.” 

“Naw, it’s all good,” Sam replied, thankful his own blush was a lot tougher to see. “You should see some of the thirsty tweets I get tagged in online.” 

“And worse, I bet,” Bucky muttered. 

“You got that right," Sam agreed with a sigh. "Anyways, Sounds like I better come back tomorrow to try it out.” He winked at Steve as he added “The donut, I mean, seeing as I’m not quite flexible enough to eat my own ass out.” Bucky cackled as Steve went bright red once more. “Sorry, dude - I couldn’t resist. Can I buy you a lemon bar to apologize?”

**Author's Note:**

> FeyRelay's story:  
>  _Hi hello, I'm sorry but my best friend works in a bakery and they have this amazing doughnut that is chocolate cake with red white and blue berries and sprinkles on it and I always come in and say I wanna eat Cap's Asshole bc what else are friends for, but I'm not a *dick* who gets people fired, so I whisper it to her and I only do it if there's no other employees or customers around, often around this time of day when it's slow and I swing by. ANYWAY well today I did this and lo and behold there was some kind of ninja dude who snuck up right behind me who decided to mouth off about how not only am I a nasty rude woman but he also decided to also argue that it's a chocolate donut and therefore cannot be Cap's asshole as "Cap is white" and my friend just lost her cool and told him that if I wanted to rim Sam Wilson to kingdom come that I could. Her manager steps out of the back office, serves the mansplainer, then tells my friend she's proud of her for standing up to herself since she normally lets customers walk all over her._  
>  the end.


End file.
